


Things My Mother Taught Me

by sevenfists



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-24
Updated: 2006-07-24
Packaged: 2018-10-09 21:44:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10422411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenfists/pseuds/sevenfists
Summary: The whole thing was Chad's fault, really.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For estrella30's Kink/Cliche Challenge. The prompt I chose was "truth or dare."

The whole thing was Chad's fault, really. Chad was a crazy motherfucker, and it was easy to get caught up in his enthusiasm and find yourself in a completely fucking ridiculous situation, like doing blow in a bathroom at 3 in the morning with two gigolos and Lindsey Lohan. Not that Jared had ever done that. Just hypothetically.

So Chad said, "I'll pay you fifty bucks if you fuck Jensen up the ass," and Jared switched the phone to his other ear and said, "Okay."

Chad cackled, all high-pitched and giddy. "No fuckin' way! You're a goddamn pussy, no way in hell will you do it."

"What, you don't think I'm man enough?" Jared asked. His spaghetti was boiling over.

"Fuck no!" Chad hollered. "Take out them hair ribbons, baby girl!"

"Dude, if you were here, I'd kick your fuckin' ass," Jared threatened, but okay, he was laughing.

"That's what I thought. Okay, I got places to be. Call me, sweet cheeks," Chad said, and hung up.

Jared snapped his phone shut and tossed it on the counter. Fucking Chad.

That was how it started. Jared had won every bet he'd ever made with Chad; no _way_ was he letting the cocksucker break Jared's streak. Those fifty bucks would look real nice in his wallet.

The only obstacle standing in the way of Jared's triumph was Jensen—or  rather, Jensen's single-minded dedication to getting as much pussy as he possibly could. And he got a lot. Shit pissed Jared off. Even more so when there were fifty bucks on the line.

Jared needed a plan. He needed a way to get Jensen in a position where he wouldn't be able to turn Jared down—or, well, he _could_ , but then Jared would have mocking rights for the rest of their natural lives.

Well, easy solution to that problem. Jared strolled onto the set Monday morning and said, "Hey Jenny, truth or dare."

"Don't call me that," Jensen said absently, and then his head snapped up and he said, "What? Truth or dare? What the fuck, J, you turn into a thirteen-year-old girl and forget to tell me?"

"Fuck you," Jared said. This had gone a lot better in his head. "I'm serious. C'mon, man, you too much of a pussy? I mean, hell, if you can't handle it, I guess we don't have to..."

Jensen turned off his iPod and wrapped the headphone cords around it. "You're gonna be on my ass about this until I give in, aren't you."

"Yup, pretty much," Jared said, sticking his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels.

" _Fine_ ," Jensen said, rolling his eyes. "Fine. We can play truth or dare. Let's hear what you got, big boy."

"Fine," Jared said. "I dare you to, um, lick Mike's head."

Both of Jensen's eyebrows shot up. "Lick Mike's head. Jared, you're ass at this, aren't you."

"Shut up," Jared says. He was beginning to see a flaw in his brilliant plan, namely that he _sucked_ at coming up with dares. "Are you gonna do it or not?"

"Hell, I've done it already," Jensen said, and grinned. "But I'll do it again just for you, J." He tucked his iPod into his bag and stood up, patted Jared on the cheek. "I gotta get to makeup. You call Mikey, we'll go over there tonight."

Jared stood there and watched Jensen saunter off, feeling a little stunned. Jensen had _licked_ Mike's head? When had that happened? And why hadn't Jared known about it?

They went over to Mike's place that evening. He and Tommy were hanging out, smoking up and watching "The Little Mermaid." Tommy, it seemed, had a thing for Disney princesses.

"How's Ariel treatin' you?" Jensen asked, clapping Tom on the shoulder.

"She's something else," Tommy said, smiling up at Jensen. Bastard was only nice when he was high—the rest of the time, he was mean as two tomcats.

Heh, Jared thought, taking another hit. _Tomcats_.

"What's funny, Padalecki?" Mike asked, sprawled out all boneless all over the couch and halfway in Tommy's lap.

"Nothin'," Jared said, flapping one hand dismissively.

Jensen came back from the kitchen, a beer bottle in each hand. He gave one to Jared and flopped down on the end of the couch closest to where Jared was spread-eagled on the floor. "There's room up here, J," he said.

"Naw, I'm good," Jared said. The carpet was all nubbly under his cheek. It felt kind of cool.

"He's high as fuck," Mike said. Jared raised his right arm long enough to give Mike the finger.

Jared heard Jensen open his beer bottle. "So Mikey," Jensen said, "how would you feel about me licking your head?"

Suddenly Jared needed to not be lying down. He hauled himself upright and leaned back against the coffee table, his feet bookending Jensen's.

"You like the new 'do?" Mike asked, running a hand over his bald head. "Lick away, my friend."

"Shut up, I'm trying to watch," Tommy said.

Jensen rolled his eyes and leaned over, put a hand on Mike's shoulder. He glanced toward Jared like he was checking to see if Jared was paying attention. Jared couldn't tear his eyes away. Jensen grinned, quick and bright, and licked a slow curving line from behind Mike's ear to the corner of his eyebrow.

"There," Jensen said, pulling back.

"What, no blowjob this time?" Mike asked, pouting. Jensen elbowed him in the ribs.

_This time_? Jared twisted the top off his beer, watching Jensen narrowly as Mike repacked the bowl.

"Shut up," Tommy said again, about two minutes since the last time anyone spoke. Mike laughed so hard he fell off the couch and landed in Jared's lap. Jared tried to shove Mike off, and Mike pinched Jared's ear in retaliation, and things went downhill from there.

Even wrestling with Mike on the floor, Jared was intensely aware of the way Jensen laughed and curled his fingers around the neck of his beer bottle. Jared felt like his pores had all opened wide and every one of them was busy absorbing the way the flickering light from the TV played across Jensen's face.

Shit, Jared thought.

***

Between takes the next day, when they were sitting around in the Impala waiting for the crew to set up the next shot, Jared said, "I pick dare."

Jensen looked over at Jared and pulled his best Dean face, mouth pursing skeptically. "All right," he said. "I dare you to shave your balls."

"What?" Jared yelped, and managed to hit his head on the roof of the car. "No fuckin' way, man! Gimme something else."

"Nope," Jensen said, and grinned wide enough to show just about all of his teeth. "You're the one who wanted to play, bitch, suck it up and do it."

Jared gritted his teeth. Fucking Jensen. "Goddammit. Fine. I'll do it."

"Damn right you will," Jensen said. "I'll meet you in your trailer after we're done here."

"Huh? What for?"

"Inspect your handiwork," Jensen said, still grinning. "For all I know, you'll pussy out and lie about it. I gotta make sure you follow through."

Jared slumped down in the seat and glared out the window. Fuck.

"Just like that!" Eric called out. "That's the perfect Sam face, Jared, keep doing that!"

Ritual suicide was starting to seem like a valid option.

So after they wrapped for the day, Jared went back to his trailer and searched for "testicle shaving" on Google. He was still clicking through websites when Jensen showed up.

"Hmm, ingrown hairs," Jensen said, reading over Jared's shoulder. "Sounds kinda painful."

"Don't make me punch you in the face," Jared said. "I'ma make you pay for this one."

"Oh, I bet," Jensen said, smirking. Christ, he was annoying. Jared shut his laptop with a snap.

"Well, get goin'," Jensen said. "I'm a busy man, got places to be, women to please."

"I hate you," Jared said, but he got up and went into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him. Last thing he needed was Jensen barging in when Jared was, um, _occupied_.

He lined everything up on the sink: shaving cream, razor, lotion, baby powder. Jesus Christ. He was real fucking tempted to tell Jensen to shove it, but he had his eyes on the prize: fifty bucks from Chad, and Jensen's sweet ass around his dick. Jared took a deep breath and got to work.

He opened the bathroom door again half an hour later, a changed man. Jensen was sitting on the couch, watching TV and drinking Jared's beer, the bastard.

"I'm done," Jared said.

Jensen didn't look away from the television. "C'mere," he said. "I need to check you out."

If the ingrown hairs didn't kill Jared, the shame probably would. He waddled over to the couch, feeling fucked up and weird and very unhappy about the whole situation. "What," he said.

Jensen just reached out, casual as anything, and started unbuckling Jared's belt.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Jared batted Jensen's hands away, but Jensen grabbed his wrists, smirking up at him.

"I'm _inspecting_ ," Jensen said. "Remember? Quit squirming around like a little girl."

"Dude, no way," Jared said. "Scout's honor or what-the-fuck-ever."

"Uh-uh," Jensen said. "You think I'm gonna believe a pansy-ass bastard like you?" He unzipped Jared's jeans, pulled them and Jared's boxers down to his knees.

Jared shivered as the cool air of his trailer hit his freshly-shaved balls. He kept his eyes focused on the wall over Jensen's head, wishing he were anywhere else, fuck, drunk in an alley somewhere, _anything_ would be better than Jensen checking out the goods, his mouth all twisted up like he didn't like what he saw.

"Hmm," Jensen said.

" _What_ ," Jared snapped. "I didn't do it right or something?"

"Now, I never said that," Jensen said. "You're gettin' a little defensive there, J." And then he grinned and fucking cupped Jared's balls in his hand, lifting them a little, his thumb brushing over the crinkled skin.

Jared nearly had a heart attack right then and there. He jerked away from Jensen and frantically yanked his jeans back up. "Okay, yeah, I shaved them," he said, his voice gone humiliatingly high. "I'ma take a shower, so. See you later, yeah?" He bolted for the bathroom before Jensen could say anything.

He jerked off twice in the shower.

***

Jared was still a little freaked out the next day, so he didn't say anything to Jensen about the next dare, but of course Jensen brought it up when they broke for lunch.

"I think I'll go with dare," he said around a mouthful of tuna salad sandwich.

Jared, of course, was completely unprepared. "Um," he said. "Okay. I dare you to have sex with the hot wardrobe chick. Uh, in one of the makeup chairs."

Jensen started laughing. "Is that _it_? Is that the best you can do? That's fuckin' weak-ass, Padalecki."

"Shut up," Jared muttered, embarrassed.

"Well, all right," Jensen said. "You wanna watch? Make sure I go through with it?"

Jared thought about it: Jensen with the wardrobe chick in his lap, both of them sweating, breathless, Jensen's hands coming up to squeeze her tits—holy fuck. "Naw," he said. "I'm not a suspicious bastard like you are."

"Whatever you say," Jensen said airily, and got up to throw the rest of his sandwich in the trash.

But Jared still found himself lurking outside the makeup room that evening, after everyone else had gone home, listening to the sounds of Jensen fucking the wardrobe chick into next month. The girl was noisy, panting and moaning, and she got louder and louder until she cried Jensen's name, and then all Jared heard was breathless, fucked-out gasping. He palmed his dick through his jeans.

Jensen wandered out, zipping up his fly, and grinned when he saw Jared standing there. "You like that, sugar lips?" he asked.

Sugar lips? Jared rolled his eyes. "Just makin' sure you didn't punk out," he said.

"Thought you said you weren't suspicious," Jensen said.

"Well, I lied."

"Hmm," Jensen said. His eyes flickered down to Jared's crotch. Jared firmly hoped it was dim enough that Jensen couldn't see the outline of Jared's dick pressing against his zipper. Jensen leaned in close, his breath hot against Jared's ear, and murmured, "Just couldn't stay away, could you." Then he bit Jared's earlobe.

Then he walked off.

Jared slid his hand down his pants, flicked his thumb over the leaking head of his cock.

***

The next day was Friday, and Jared was itchy. Both literally and metaphorically. His balls were driving him crazy; it was like they were on _fire_. Goddamn Jensen. His cockteasing was going to make Jared lose his mind.

He tried to be surreptitious about scratching his balls, but _of course_ Jensen caught him at it.

"You feelin' a little scratchy there, J?" Jensen asked, his Dean face firmly in place but a little bit of Jensen-style evil creeping out around the edges.

" _No_ ," Jared said, pulling his hands out of his pants pockets.

Between scenes, Jensen got him behind one of the trailers and pinned him against the vinyl siding. "You're coming over to my place tonight," he said.

"Okay," Jared said, a little breathless just from how close Jensen was standing to him.

"I like it when you don't argue with me," Jensen said, one hand sliding along the hem of Sam's shirt, pushing underneath it to splay across the skin of Jared's lower back.

"I'll be sure to let you get your way from now on," Jared said, and leaned in, brushing his mouth across Jensen's.

"Next scene!" one of the assistants yelled, and Jensen pulled back, looking a little flushed—losing his goddamn cool for once, showing his underbelly. Jared liked it. He wanted Jensen stripped down past all his cocky posturing, all the way down until he was gasping Jared's name.

He followed Jensen home that evening. Jensen lived in an apartment downtown, high up with a view of the whole city. He'd hired some snobby designer to fix the place up, and it was full of black furniture and hardwood floors and shit that was supposed to be art but mostly just looked stupid. Jared _hated_ Jensen's apartment. He toed his shoes off and kicked them toward the wall, feeling irrationally pleased when they left scuff marks on the white paint.

"Don't fuck up my walls," Jensen yelled from the kitchen.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to your walls," Jared said, wandering in and leaning in the doorway.

Jensen opened the freezer and pulled out a bottle of expensive-looking vodka. "You go right ahead, but I'll make sure your ass gets run over by a bus." He glanced over at Jared, looking him up and down, and the slow burn that had been going inside of Jared all day suddenly cranked up to a boil.

"Jensen, no way in hell am I drinking that girly vodka crap," Jared said.

"It was a present from my agent," Jensen said. "You'll drink it. It's part of your dare."

"What if I choose truth?"

Jensen set the bottle on the counter and started rummaging around in the cabinets. "You aren't gonna choose truth."

"Yeah, well what if I _do_?"

Jensen set two shot glasses next to the vodka bottle and turned to glare at Jared. "Are you _tryin'_ to piss me off, or is it just your charming personality?"

"Little bit of both, I'd say," Jared said, and grinned. His balls were itching again. He reached down and scratched them.

"Yeah, _anyway_ ," Jensen said, rolling his eyes, "you're gonna do shots with me and then have phone sex with Chad."

_What_? "You're a cruel man, Jensen Ackles."

"I know," Jensen said, and crowded Jared in the doorway, forcing him to back up into the hall. Jensen headed into the living room, vodka bottle tucked under his arm.

Jared followed him, stood there shuffling his feet across the slick hardwood floor, thinking about pulling a Risky Business. Jensen turned on the TV and sprawled out on the couch, legs spread, eyes flickering up at Jared, mouth pursed. "Sit your ass down," Jensen said. Jared wanted to fuck him so bad that he could hardly breathe.

"Like hell am I gonna take orders from you," Jared said, but he sat his ass down.

"Here," Jensen said, handing him a shotglass. Jared knocked it back. Jesus, it was _flavored_ , like vanilla or some shit.

"Fuck, Jensen, that tastes awful," Jared said, grimacing.

"You love it," Jensen said, and poured another shot.

Eight shots later—maybe nine, Jared lost count at some point—Jensen wandered back into the living room, drinking vodka straight out of the bottle, and handed over Jared's phone.

"I can't," Jared said.

"Well, you better," Jensen said. "Cause you won't like the forfeit."

Fuck. Jared flipped his phone open and dialed Chad's number.

"What," Chad said when he picked up.

"Hey, uh, baby," Jared said, trying to sound sexy but mostly just sounding drunk. "Tell me what you got on."

"The fuck are you talking about, Padalecki," Chad said, and then _moaned_.

"Are you—Chad, are you having sex?"

Jensen started laughing, then, and managed to dribble vodka down the front of his shirt.

"Just some dumb bitch goin' down on me," Chad said, and then, "Now baby, you know I didn't mean it like that, don't stop."

Jared pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Only Chad. "So I guess phone sex is out of the question," he said, turning his back to Jensen because seriously, the bastard needed to quit laughing at him.

"Well," Chad said. His breath hitched. "If you wanna tell me about your sweet ass, you go right ahead."

"You're a fuckin' jerk," Jared said, and hung up.

"That the best you can do?" Jensen asked.

Jared threw his phone in Jensen's direction, not bothering to look where he was aiming. He heard a thud, and Jensen laughing _again_ , and then the couch squeaking a little as Jensen moved closer. Jared could feel the shape of him, the heat from his body radiating outward, warm against Jared's back.

"Good work, sugar," Jensen murmured, his fingers tangling in the hair at the base of Jared's skull, pushing it aside so he could lay a kiss there.

Jared shivered a little, feeling the slow curl of anticipation in his belly and his dick. They both knew where this was going: Jensen's lips on the back of Jared's neck said he hoped it ended up somewhere with both of them bare-ass naked, their tongues and sweat-slick bodies sliding together. Jared could almost taste it, heavy desire mixing with vodka on his tongue.

He could have ended it there, that night, but Jared loved the slow heated looks Jensen kept giving him, the rush it gave him to imagine having Jensen where he wanted him, finally, finally. And besides, he was too sloppy drunk; if he gave in now, Jensen would take advantage of it and Jared would be flat on his belly with his pants around his ankles in two seconds flat. He needed to wait until he was in control of the situation. Fifty bucks _plus_ his manly pride. He could hold out.

So he pulled away from Jensen's hand, hauled himself off the couch. "Can I crash here tonight?"

Jensen shrugged and scratched his chin. "Yeah. You want the couch or you wanna sleep with me?"

Christ on a cracker. "Uh, the couch is fine," Jared said.

"I'll get you some blankets," Jensen said, standing up and getting right in Jared's personal space, breathing on his fucking neck for crying out loud. Jared took a step back. Jensen smirked and walked off toward his bedroom.

Jared knew what his next dare was going to be.

***

He woke up early the next morning, a little hung over but not too bad, ate a bowl of cereal, and went home without saying goodbye to Jensen. Bastard could figure out where he'd gone. He spent the day rubbing lotion on his balls. They itched like a motherfucker.

He called Jensen that evening. "Let's go out," he said.

"Like a date? You're so sweet, J, who knew."

"Fuck off," Jared said. "C'mon, let's go to a club or something. I'm fuckin' bored outta my mind."

"Fine," Jensen said. "Come pick me up."

"I'll be there in fifteen," Jared said.

They went to one of the clubs downtown. It was crowded, hot, noisy—exactly what Jared wanted. He got them a bottle of tequila and a booth in the corner.

"You're such a romantic," Jensen said, and Jared took a shot of tequila because it was that, punch Jensen in the face, or fuck him right there on the table. Only two of those things could be done in public, and one of them would earn Jared the makeup ladies' hatred for the rest of eternity.

They did shots. A lot of them. Jensen started leaning in closer, trailing his fingers down the ridge of Jared's spine.

"Truth or dare," Jared said.

Jensen sucked on his lime thoughtfully. "Dare," he said.

"I dare you to suck me off," Jared said, and that was it, he'd put it all out there: Jensen would freak or he would go along with it, and Jared's heart was in his throat, waiting to learn which it would be.

Jensen's eyes flickered, and his lips parted slightly, his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth the way it did when he was nervous or aroused. "Let's go," he said, and stood up.

"What, _here_?" Jared asked, incredulous. "It's _my_ dare, bitch, _I_ set the terms."

"Not any more, you don't," Jensen said. "If I'ma be on my knees with your cock down my throat, I get to pick where it's gonna be."

Jesus fuck. Jared had always been quick on the draw, but he'd never before managed to get rock-hard in two seconds flat. He pressed the heel of his hand against his dick, using the table to hide his movements. His veins burned with tequila. The room around him vanished, the whole world narrowing down to Jensen and his perfect, red, cocksucking mouth.

"Fuck," Jared said. He got up, hooked a finger in one of Jensen's belt loops. "Where."

"The bathroom," Jensen said, heavy-lidded, amused. He licked his lips slowly, eyes locked on Jared's.

Jared was throbbing inside his jeans. He was going to die. He grabbed Jensen by the elbow and hauled him over to the men's room, shoving through hordes of drunken college girls and the guys who were desperate to fuck them.

The bathroom was empty. Jared slipped the attendant a twenty to keep people out, which might not work but he didn't care anymore. Jensen smelled like sweat and alcohol, and his hands were already at Jared's belt buckle, unbuttoning and unzipping and reaching in.

"You ready for this?" Jensen asked, and dropped to his knees.

The first touch of Jensen's wet mouth had Jared gasping, burying his hands in Jensen's short hair. Jensen licked at him, teasing, tongue slick and flickering, swirling over the head of Jared's cock.

"Come on," Jared rasped, sliding his hands around to cup Jensen's head, his thumbs pressing into the hinges of Jensen's jaw. "Open up."

Jensen looked up at him, glassy-eyed, wicked, and slid his mouth down over Jared's cock, his fucking perfect mouth, and Jared groaned and flexed his fingertips against the little hollow at the base of Jensen's skull.

"Holy shit," Jared breathed when the head of his cock hit the back of Jensen's throat. Jensen made a tiny noise, a tiny whimpering sound, and looked down, his eyes fluttering shut. Jared rocked his hips forward tentatively, just once, testing the waters, and Jensen opened up around him, taking him all the way in. Jared let his head tip backward, stared up at the ceiling.

He'd been thinking about this for way longer than he would ever admit to anybody, but Jensen's mouth was even better than he'd imagined: tight and hot, his tongue pressing expertly against the underside of Jared's cock. Jared felt dizzy, stupid. His pulse throbbed in his ears. Jensen was making obscene noises, wet and decadent, pulling off Jared's cock with a popping sound and then going all the way back down until his nose was pressed against Jared's belly.

Jared thought he might stroke out. He needed to move, god, he had to do something, he was trying to hold still but his hips kept twitching and Jensen was making those _sounds_ and Jared had to move or go crazy. He slid his thumbs under Jensen's chin, tilting his head up. "This okay?" he asked.

Jensen let Jared's cock slip out of his mouth. "Yeah," he said, a little hoarse. "Do it."

"Yeah," Jared said, and leaned forward, rubbing the head of his cock over Jensen's lips. Jensen's tongue flickered out, tasting, and then he opened his mouth and let Jared thrust all the way in, one smooth stroke.

Jared grunted and tilted Jensen's head up a little more, changing the angle, and rocked his hips slowly, feeding his cock down Jensen's throat. God, Jensen was a fucking _pro_. "You been holding out on me," Jared muttered, and the low rumble of Jensen's laughter lit up every fucking nerve in Jared's body. He couldn't remember another time when he'd been so turned on.

He was so goddamn drunk. Jesus Christ. Jared stared straight ahead, watching his own reflection in the mirror. He could just barely see the top of Jensen's head, and his own hands cradling the curve of Jensen's skull. Jared's face was flushed, his hair sticking to his forehead and his temples. His lips twisted stupidly, contorting as he fucked Jensen's mouth, and Jared looked like a goddamn retard but he couldn't look away. His balls tightened up, his belly clenching.

And then he heard the low rasp of a zipper and looked down to see Jensen's upturned face, his eyes glittering and staring straight at Jared as he fisted his own cock, the swollen head appearing and disappearing over the top of his fist, and Jared thrust all the way in and held Jensen's head in place as he came in hot pulses down Jensen's throat.

Jensen pulled off, sputtering and wheezing a little, and Jared busted out laughing even as his knees buckled and he slid down onto the tile floor.

"Too much for you, huh," he said, wiping come from the corner of Jensen's mouth with his thumb.

"Fuck you," Jensen said, glaring and batting Jared's hand away. He was still hard, his cock flushed against the pale inside of his jeans, the fly spread wide open. Jared slumped forward, burying his face in Jensen's neck, and wrapped his hand around Jensen's cock.

It didn't take long. Jensen gasped into the air over Jared's shoulder, and his hips juddered around, and when he came he got it all over Jared's hand and both their shirts.

"Shit, dude," Jared said, wiping his hand off on Jensen's shirt. "Been a while, huh?"

"Naw, I'm just a porn star," Jensen said, leaning back on his hands and smirking, looking like the cockiest bastard alive.

"You fuckin' wish," Jared said, getting to his feet. "C'mon, we gotta get cleaned up and get outta here before somebody catches us."

He watched Jensen's ass the whole way out of the club.

***

Filming was a complete mess the next day. Jared kept zoning out on Jensen's mouth, and Jensen gave him these _looks_ like he knew exactly what was going through Jared's head, and it was a little hard to concentrate on his lines. Just slightly.

Jensen cornered him in his trailer after Eric called it quits for the day. "I dare you to have sex in the Impala," Jensen said without preamble.

"You got it, pussy," Jared said. Jensen didn't want to talk about it, fine.

Jensen licked his lips, glanced over at the door. "With me."

Oh. Well, now. Jared had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. Jensen was a complete dickhead, but Jared didn't care—he liked it, he wanted more. Christ, he had a _crush_ on _Jensen Ackles_ , his life was officially over. He didn't care.

They stayed late, after filming. Jared wanted to call Chad and gloat about how he was gonna fuck Jensen's tight ass, but he figured he should probably wait until it was a done deal. Jensen might back out at the last second and then Chad would give Jared shit about it until the end of time. Instead, he just sat in his trailer and watched TV until Jensen came to get him.

"I got the key," Jensen announced as he pushed the door open.

"Let's do this," Jared said. His heart was going a mile a minute, he was so fucking excited—and, okay, maybe a little nervous. But only a _little_ , he wasn't a pussy or anything.

The Impala they'd been using for filming that day was still parked in front of the green screen. Jared tripped over at least three cords on the way in.

"Fuckin' watch where you're going," Jensen said.

"It's too goddamn dark in here, man, I can't see a thing," Jared said, and promptly tripped again.

Jensen caught him, hands on Jared's upper arms, and _fuck_ staying cool, Jared leaned in and pressed his mouth against Jensen's, god, _finally_.

Jensen just _stood_ there, like the complete asshole that he was, but Jared kept going: put one hand down the back of Jensen's pants, licked at his mouth until Jensen grunted and opened, wet and slick, and started kissing Jared back.

Jared smoothed his hand down over the curve of Jensen's ass, sliding under until his fingertips bumped against Jensen's balls. "I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk straight," he murmured, millimeters from Jensen's lips.

"Oh no, sweetheart," Jensen said. "You've got yourself all turned around. My dare, remember? _I_ set the terms." He pulled back, tugged Jared's hand out of his jeans. "The car, bitch. Come on."

And then Jensen stripped off his t-shirt and all of Jared's protests dribbled out his ears. It was too dark to see much, but Christ, what he _could_ see just made him fucking desperate for more. Jensen draped his shirt over the trunk of the Impala and started on his jeans, and that got Jared moving, pulling off his own shirt and slamming Jensen against the side of the car.

"You are such a fucking cocktease," he muttered, and bit the line of Jensen's jaw, right below his ear.

"You love it," Jensen said, sliding one thigh between Jared's legs, pressing up and rocking.

"Fuck," Jared said.

"Yeah," Jensen said, and kissed Jared like he was starving for it, all wet and needy. And _this_ , this was what Jared had been waiting for—Jensen losing it and rubbing his cock against Jared's thigh, grabbing at Jared's ass, shoving his tongue halfway down Jared's throat.

Jared pulled back, heard himself panting harshly, loud in the quiet building. "I want to—I want it," he said.

"Get in," Jensen said, and opened the back door of the car.

The vinyl upholstery was cool under Jared's hands as he scrambled through the door and onto the seat. He kicked off his flip-flops, wriggled out of his jeans and boxers, let them fall to the floor of the car. He was achingly hard, leaking a little, and he fisted his own cock, giving himself a few hard tugs.

"What, you can't wait five seconds?" Jensen asked, and Jared looked up to see Jensen standing there with his thumbs hooked in the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

"Take them off," Jared said. Jensen raised an eyebrow at him, fucking tease that he was, but he slipped his shorts down and kicked them off somewhere, disappearing into the darkness. Jared swallowed hard. He felt like, god, like he couldn't _breathe_ , like if Jensen kept looking at him like that he was just going to fucking explode.

"Try inhaling, Jared," Jensen said, sounding amused. He crawled into the car, hovered over Jared on his hands and knees. Jared squirmed a little, uncomfortable beneath Jensen's intent gaze. Jensen tipped his head down and licked his way into Jared's mouth, filthy, slow kissing, taking his time and fuck that, Jared was not a patient man.

"Come _on_ ," Jared said, dropping one leg down onto the floor of the car, spreading himself wide open. He tightened his hand around his cock, dragged it upwards, rubbing his thumb over the head. "You just wanna watch? We can do that."

"No," Jensen said. His throat made a clicking noise. He settled between Jared's legs, his dick bumping wetly against the line of Jared's hip, and Jared's head collided with the side panel of the door.

"Shit," he said, and then, "No, don't stop."

"I wanna fuck you," Jensen murmured, lips brushing Jared's neck. His hips moved against Jared's in a slow, grinding curl.

"That wasn't part of the dare," Jared gasped, digging his finger's into Jensen's ass, urging him on.

"It is now," Jensen said, and somehow got his hand tucked between them, tracing around Jared's stubbly balls and then back to press against his hole, a dry and delicate touch.

Jared's brain shorted out. He forgot everything: the bet with Chad, the fifty bucks, his own middle name. "Okay," he said, "okay, do it."

"You got stuff?" Jensen asked, fingers still moving.

"Yeah. In my—in the front pocket of my jeans."

Jensen chuckled. "Boy scout, huh?" He leaned over, rifled around on the floor, came up with a condom and lube. "You want it," he said.

"Yeah," Jared said. He put one foot up on the back of the front seat. The air in the car was dense, humid. All he could focus on was the way Jensen's hair stuck to his forehead as he knelt between Jared's sprawled legs.

"Okay," Jensen said. He fumbled around, his motions hidden by his hands and the lack of light, and then his slick fingers were rubbing at Jared's ass, pushing slowly inside.

Jared's hips bucked. He lifted off the seat, squirming against Jensen's hand. "Fuck, Jensen, come _on_ ," he said, "I can take it, hurry up."

"You do this a lot?" Jensen asked, smirking, and slid two fingers all the way in, curving them up just right because he was _evil_.

Every part of Jared's body was over-sensitized, burning. The vinyl seat was slick beneath him, slippery from his own sweat, and his foot kept slipping down to bump against Jensen's knee. Jensen teased him, fucking him slowly with his thick fingers, pressing deep but not at an angle to do Jared any good. Jared was convinced he was going insane. His hips were working helplessly, shifting, and when Jensen bent over to mouth at Jared's stomach, Jared let out the sort of noise that he would categorically deny later on.

"Christ, Jensen, _do_ it, I'm ready," Jared said, running one hand down his body to grab at his dick.

"I dunno, J, I might be too much man for you," Jensen said, and licked along Jared's cock, tongue swirling over and around Jared's fingers.

Jared's back arched. "Fuck," he breathed, all dragged-out and ragged. He clutched at Jensen's shoulder with his free hand, nails digging in deep.

"Quit clawing me," Jensen said, sitting back. He met Jared's eyes and didn't look away as he opened the condom and rolled it on, slicked himself up; slid a hand under Jared's thigh and pressed it up toward Jared's shoulder, opening him up even further.

"Fucking do it," Jared grated out. The blunt head of Jensen's cock nudged at him, pulled away, pressed again. Jared bit his own fist, infuriated, balls throbbing. He canted his hips up, and Jensen finally relented and worked his way inside in tiny, almost hesitant strokes.

It was the best feeling in the world. Jared moaned around the side of his hand he'd stuffed into his mouth. Jensen rocked against him, slow and deliberate, until he was all the way in and _stopped_ , head down, panting.

"Jesus!" Jared huffed, exasperated. He used his foot on the seat back as leverage and pushed up, trying to get some goddamn friction. Jensen was the biggest tease on the planet, and Jared hated him. "I hate you," he said.

"No you don't," Jensen said, his free hand braced on the seat next to Jared's head. His smile flickered in the darkness of the car, bright and uneven. "I'm just gettin' started, baby. You hold on."

"I dunno, Jensen, I'm not too impressed so far, you sure you— _oh_ ," Jared said, and grabbed at the handle on the door as Jensen started to thrust into him, deep, swift strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect place inside of Jared every time.

Jared put his fist back in his mouth and held on. He never thought he'd end up here, sprawled out like a whore on the back seat of the Impala while his co-star fucked him like he knew exactly how much Jared enjoyed taking it up the ass. But it wasn't like he was complaining.

"Hey," Jensen said, and kissed him, sloppy, uncoordinated. Jared put his hand around the back of Jensen's neck to hold him in place. Jensen was driving into him just right, hard and unforgiving thrusts, his hand digging into the underside of Jared's thigh. Jared's vision was starting to go blurry at the edges; he could feel orgasm building in his belly, almost there—

—And then Jensen pulled out, sat back. Jared's leg landed on the seat with a loud thump. He flailed one hand weakly.

"Jensen. What the _fuck_. I'm gonna kill you," Jared said, and started to sit up.

Jensen stopped him with a hand in the middle of his chest. "Turn over," he said, and the sound of his voice, the look in his eyes, was almost enough to make Jared come right then and there.

" _Fuck_ ," Jared said. He turned over, sliding a little on the seat, and rested his head on his folded arms, his knees bent and his ass up in the air. He could only imagine what he looked like, but the noise Jensen made gave him a damn good idea.

"You're killin' me," Jensen said, all ragged. He smoothed a hand over Jared's ass and then slapped him, sharp and unexpected. Jared jerked and hollered, and then it turned into a moan as Jensen grabbed his hips and slammed back into him.

Jared pressed his hands against the car door, bracing himself; but instead of getting on with it, Jensen pulled back out, real slow, the head of his cock stretching Jared wide open, almost to the point of pain, and then gone.

"Fuck you, Ackles, I hope you die," Jared panted, twitching his hips backward, seeking.

"No you don't," Jensen said again, amused, and pushed back inside, just an inch or two, and then pulled out again. Jared clawed at the upholstery.

Jensen tortured him like that for what felt like three billion years, until Jared was a complete mess, his breath making a little humid space against the seat. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't do a goddamn thing except lie there and let Jensen drive him out of his fucking mind.

"All right," Jensen said, and bit Jared's back, just to the side of his spine. "You holdin' on?" Jared made an incoherent noise. Jensen laughed and bit Jared again, a little harder, and started pounding into him, fast, unrelenting, exactly the way Jared wanted him to, and Jared just clutched at the door and tried not to have a heart attack.

He rocked his hips back against Jensen, feeling a fucking supernova building inside of him, and then Jensen reached down and wrapped his hand around Jared's cock, and there was no turning back after that. White light exploded inside him, catastrophic, and he shuddered helplessly and spurted all over the vinyl seat.

Jensen didn't even slow down. He kept going, fast and hard, his fingers pressing bruises into Jared's hips. Jared twitched around Jensen's cock, feeling overstimulated and useless, his whole body limp as a wet dishrag.

"Come on, Jensen," Jared said, "come on, yeah," just babbling, really, not even paying attention to what he was saying. But Jensen let out a strangled sound, like hearing Jared's voice was just what he needed, and he went still and came.

Jensen slumped over Jared's back, their sweaty bodies sticking together, and they just breathed for a while. Jared felt like he'd just finished a fucking triathlon.

He wasn't expecting to feel Jensen's mouth moving over his shoulderblades, slow and almost tender, biting softly here and there. He'd figured Jensen would pull out, make some self-satisfied comment, get dressed. Not this: the brush of Jensen's lips, the straight edge of his teeth.

"You okay?" Jensen murmured. His breath puffed hotly against Jared's skin.

"Never better," Jared said, and couldn't think of a time when he'd meant it more.

 

***

He called Chad on the drive home. "Hey, so I owe you fifty bucks," Jared said.

There was a pause for a moment, and then Chad starting howling with laughter. Jared rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers on he steering wheel, waiting.

"You fuckin' lost! I can't believe it!" Chad yelled. "He turned your bitch ass down!"

"Actually, no he didn't," Jared said, grinning. "Far as I can tell, he likes my ass a whole lot." He closed his phone before Chad could answer.

So okay, he was down fifty bucks, but he had bite marks all over his back and really, life didn't get any better than that.

He called Jensen next. "You got plans for tomorrow night?"

Jensen was eating something. "Naw," he said, crunching away.

"Wanna come over and watch the game?" Jared's palms were sweaty. He tucked his phone against his shoulder and wiped his free hand on his jeans.

There was some sort of weird noise from Jensen's end, but when he spoke again it sounded like his mouth was empty. "I, yeah," he said, a little hesitant, all the cockiness gone from his voice. "Yeah. I'd like that."

"Sounds good to me," Jared said, and he grinned like an idiot all the way home.


End file.
